


if you're gay, then you're gay

by independentalto



Series: short treks [1]
Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: 2x10 thoughts, Multi, philippa just likes being smug sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:15:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29300268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/independentalto/pseuds/independentalto
Summary: She might not like glee, but there is merit to making grown men squirm.A summary of what went through Philippa's head during the mini-confrontation in Engineering.Set during 2x10, "The Red Angel".
Relationships: Hugh Culber/Paul Stamets, Mirror Hugh Culber/Mirror Paul Stamet/Mirror Philippa Georgiou (referenced)
Series: short treks [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2158761
Comments: 13
Kudos: 28





	if you're gay, then you're gay

**Author's Note:**

> I take _way_ too much glee in the defcon-level scene. Like, way too much. 
> 
> (I also hit Sanctuaria with this before posting and was told to share it with the world, so here it is 😂 Jola shippers, I recommend [safe harbor (means shelter from the storm)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28959936). hi kat!)
> 
> Title inspiration from "Everyone is Gay" by A Great Big World.
> 
> This is my first time writing for Discovery, so feel free to take me apart if you wish :)

Ask her about the word glee in her vocabulary, and Philippa would heartily deny it existed in hers until her dying breath, whenever it was. Perhaps she’d give the offender a time in which to die by her blade for suggesting it, but that was about the amount of mercy she had in her. Emperor Philippa Georgiou didn’t do  _ glee.  _ Glee was reserved for the soft-willed. Glee was for the  _ weak.  _

There was, however, merit in watching grown men squirm. And there was no shortage of that no matter the universe, which perhaps cancelled out the fact that there was a presence of emotions that weren’t rage, disgust, lust, and perhaps mild admiration. Like now, when Culber and Stamets had finally managed to trap themselves in the same room for longer than five seconds. 

The tension, Philippa would wager, was worse for them than any agonizer. Surely there’d be nothing wrong with blowing it all to hell. Right?

“You were...savvier than he was,” She made sure her once-over spoke volumes in the dead of Engineering, and out of the corner of her eye, she could see Culber’s face twitch in jealousy. Good. Another notch already in the pole. At this rate, he’d do her job for her.

"You -- you do know that he's gay, right?" Culber asked, and  _ oh _ , if there was anything that even closely resembled glee, it was the utmost satisfaction she derived at seeing his discomfort. It truly was a pity. But still...

"Don't be so binary," Philippa quipped, and turned to him with an expression of a young Terran who'd just sighted their first prey. "In my universe, he was pansexual," Ah, yes, there was Stamets, the poor boy, looking at her with confusion and bewilderment -- dare she say curiosity? Some things never changed. "and we had DEFCON level fun together." 

She stepped even closer to Culber, the half-offended expression on his face morphing into one of nervousness with every inch Philippa closed between them. So the good doctor  _ did  _ squirm. Time to turn up the wattage. She hadn't been kidding -- Stamets, at the very least, had been quite the presence in her bed back in her universe; should it all work out, the presence of Culber would surely liven things up. "And you, too, Papi." 

His response was immediate.  _ Of course.  _ "Did you just call me Papi?"

"Well, in my universe -- and in pretty much any universe I can possibly imagine, I'm gay," Stamets interjects. "And so is he." A puppy, really, nodding like he was so sure of himself. And so quick, too, to establish what was already so obvious to practically the entire ship.

(If he was so sure, then, so certain he would have Culber and he him, why was he pining over the doctor like the scraps of yesterday's ganglia? Humans, Philippa snorted to herself. She would never figure them out.)

"Of course you are. I'm glad you see what's right in front of us," she informed them instead, and the sight of Culber, Stamets and Killy all tilting their heads in synchronized confusion was one she'd never forget. 

The former two looked like they'd just been handed the final piece to a puzzle, minds practically whirring out loud to put together any single cognizance of what her words might have meant. More than anything, Philippa wished she could bang their heads together -- was it so difficult, really, to understand? This was exactly why she didn't embark on long-term relationships. Everything was so  _ difficult  _ once you got past physical compatibility, and your tendency to wear your heart on your sleeve would be what ultimately got you killed. 

Killy, on the other hand, looked relieved that someone else had said what practically the entire ship had been thinking. Well. Perhaps one day she'd grow a spine; she wasn't Captain yet, so there was still time. Couple more life-threatening situations, and the girl would be just fine. 

"And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go talk to Captain Pike about setting a course for Esoff-4." A turn of the heel, a few steps, and Philippa was out the door, a smug warmth forming in her stomach when she caught sight of Culber's panicked glance following her. (There was only much she could do -- the rest was up to them, unless they were willing to share.  _ Then,  _ maybe, and only then, would she reconsider.)

And as Killy's hushed  _ "What just happened?" _ floated out through the last cracks of the bay doors, she couldn't help but smirk. Hopefully her little nudge would at the very least get those two on the track to being back together. Maybe she’d have  _ both  _ of them before the end of the day -- now  _ that  _ was a wicked thought.

Perhaps glee was in her vocabulary after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Any and all feedback is appreciated!


End file.
